Normal is over-rated.

Why can't normal people see past the shallow things like outward appearance/demeanor/stylish clothing and grooming/polished manners and see the deeper value of people as unique individuals?

Why can't normal people understand that an autistic person can't always tell whether they're teasing or criticizing?

Why do neurotypical people expect me to put on a facade to spare their social sensibilities when they won't do a damn thing to spare my sensory integration sensitivities?

Why do normal people think that their neurotypical instincts to lie, manipulate, cover eachothers asses, pretend to feel one thing when they really feel another, are inherently superior ways of relating to the autistic mode of open honesty and raw feelings?

Why can't normal people just tell the truth--just say what they mean and mean what they say?

I despise the little white lies. Why do I deserve to be despised for being unwilling to tell them and unable to detect them?

Why can't normal people believe what I say when I tell them they are not reading my autistic body language/facial expressions/vocal tones correctly?

Say what you mean and mean what you say

I don't get neurotypical extroverts. I have no ability to figure whether people are saying what they're saying because it's true, or because of the effect they think it will have on the people they're saying it to. I can't weigh their sincerity. A statement that the speaker believes, a statement that was what they thought I wanted to hear, and a statement calculated to evoke anger or sorrow or guilt or fear or surprise or delight or agreement in me--they all sound the same to me. I weigh the words. Which means that people who don't say what they mean and mean what they say find me an extremely easy target for manipulation.

What the greasy poo is R-E-S-P-E-C-T anyway?

Top of every list of what wives are supposed to do:

1. Respect your husband

"Notice how it doesn't say "Respect your husband if he has earned it." A man's greatest need in this world is to be respected, and the person he desires that respect from the most is his wife. The trap that we've all been ensnared by is that they only deserve our respect when they earn it. Yes, we want our husbands to make decisions that will ultimately garner our respect, but the truth is that your husband is a human being. A human being who makes mistakes. This is the man that YOU have chosen to walk alongside you for the rest of your life, and to lead your family and he needs to be respected for that quality alone.

Take it from me – when respect is given even when he doesn't deserve it, it will motivate him to earn it. That doesn't mean you pretend that his choices are good ones when they aren't. Things like that still need to be communicated, but you can flesh out your differences WITH RESPECT. It makes all the difference in the world to him."

Nowhere in sight: WHAT DOES THIS MEAN? I HAVE NO CLUE WHAT THIS RESPECT THING LOOKS LIKE OR HOW IT'S DONE, HOW IT'S SHOWN. NOT. ONE. CLUE.

Respect? I need someone to define that for me and explain how it works. Don't tell me it's something everybody just knows. Don't tell me it's a no-brainer. Don't tell me it's obvious. And please, don't tell me again that it can't be explained, you just intuitively know how to do it. I don't. I have NO INTUITION. I don't really think anyone has ever respected me, so I don't know how to show respect to anyone else. I don't understand the concept, and I would love to have someone give me a working definition that can actually be applied.

Equality doesn't seem to be it; submission doesn't seem to be it; seeking forgiveness when I believe I've screwed up doesn't seem to be it. I don't know what it is. Pretending I accept and agree with harebrained notions seems to be the closest thing to "respect" I've found so far--but that feels untrue.

I know what tolerance is--agreeing to disagree. But is respect "pretending to agree when I really don't to diffuse an argument"? I don't get it. Truth is truth. God's word is God's word. Some minute points of doctrine I can see either way. Some--like One Way: Jesus--are inarguable. So why do some people think that if I say their path to enlightenment will not lead to eternal life, it's intolerably disrespectful?? No matter how gently I try to say it?

The strongest impression I get when someone tries to explain it to me:  Pretend everything someone does is brilliant, perfect and above reproach even if you think it's 100% asinine and will never work. Prop up someone's facade of being the best example of humanity extant. Lie like a rug to protect someone's tarnished reputation. And most of all, smile real purty so everyone will think you're deliriously happy even when you feel like you need to spend a day in bed crying and eating chocolate ice cream.

WHY I DON'T LIKE THE NFL

The Seahawks played against some guys in maroon and gold uniforms. Lots of grown men lining up waiting for a chance to run at eachother and knock eachother down. I've been told it has to do with all the guys in blue and green trying to move a ball in one direction while the guys in maroon and gold try to move it in the other. I never saw any ball. Balls are round. I saw a strange oblong, pointy ended thing for a couple seconds a few times but then everybody tried to jump on it, so I couldn't see it anymore. And then they all jumped on eachother again. It looked like probably some of them got hurt a few times. That must explain why they wear helmets and lots of padding. I also saw guys in black and white stripes throwing yellow hankies around, stopping the game and stopping the clock so many times that a game that theoretically takes an hour to play (four fifteen-minute quarters equals one hour, right?) actually takes nearly four.

If I had a family member or a personal friend on one of these pro sport teams, I would probably care whether or not their team won. These people in the blue and green jerseys, though; I don't think anyone I know would even know their names if they weren't getting paid an unreasonable amount of money to play games a couple times a week. I really don't understand why people would choose to watch that on television when they could instead go to a niece’s dance recital, a cousin's kart race, a sister's choir performance, or a grandchild's school play. Maybe even a nephew's baseball game. But people in my family have consistently placed this group of strangers trying to knock eachother over to try to get possession of an odd-shaped ball, above the hobbies, talents and accomplishments of their own friends and family members. I grew up listening to my dad and brothers screaming at the television, wondering why it mattered, and asking myself why on earth they thought the referee or the quarterback or the wide receiver or whoever heard them.

I don't understand paying grown up men millions or billions of dollars to play ball games, when brilliant doctors who work hard to keep kids healthy enough to play ball games get paid less. I think the farmers who grow our food; the construction workers who build our houses, shops and roads; and the people in the sweat shops who make our clothes deserve a higher paycheck than men who can run fast, throw balls, and tackle other guys. Kids playing games makes sense to me. Paying loads of money to watch grown-ups play games doesn't.

Maybe it's because I'm a bookish, conflict-avoidant, compassionate introvert that my perspective on professional sport is so different from most other people's. Competitive extroverts--like my father, my brothers, my husband-- can be expected to enjoy being amongst a group of noisy happy people who are excited about proving their team's superiority over another's. It's really not my thing. If it works for you and the majority of people in the greater Seattle area, that's awesome. I'll wear my green and blue clothing so my colors will match the fans. It's safer to blend in with fanatics than it is to stick out, after all, and blue and green have always been among my favorite colors anyway. But that doesn't mean I care who wins and who loses. I don't know any of those guys, but I hope they all have fun and don't get hurt. I hope all the fans enjoy watching the game. I also hope that some of the players give a portion of their obscene income to charity so poor kids can grow up healthy and have fun playing sports and ball games while they're young.